January 9th, 2006
dearest diary,
it is now the year 2006. i'm still single has never ever been truly, madly, deeply in love with anyone before except tom cruise, brad pitt, colin firth hahaha whooops i mean colin farrell and yeah that's it. and crushes on pierre andre, jonathan bennet(tiny one) and logan echolls. but that's truly it. no one else. but i may have forgotten a few names but really, diary: IT DOESNT MATTER.
diary, what should i do????? everyone seems worried about my state of singleness so i think i should too. why don't i have a boyfriend yet diary???? what drives boys away? is it my looks? my speech? my dressing sense? my unquenchable desire for absolute power???? what diary what???? i have no idea.
this year a lot of my friends are getting married diary. imagine me having to attend their weddings alone, single, unaccompanied, OH THE HORRROR!!! how will i stand it, diary dearest?? what will i do?!!! to be at the center of attention, people whispering how lonely and sad and pathetic i am, even if i look absolutely gorgeous and ravishing, but alas, dear diary, i came alone and unattended. OH! i cannot take it dear diary, i cannot. i simply must find an answer. or find excuses for not attending their weddings. NO! NO! i mustn't do that diary! i must remain strong. i must attend the weddings with my head held high, WITH or WITHOUT a male companion. i wonder if i should hire male escorts. remind me dear diary to scoot around for numbers. do they even have it here in malaysio? you know, a long time ago my friend proposed building up this business together but i guess it didnt work out because i insisted on hogging only the best looking ones. well one must look their best, right, diary? i don't think i was TOTALLY in the wrong.
anyway, yeah, so, hi me. what am i going to do?????? what if i don't find someone even in this year, dear diary? what will happen to me?? am i going to end up old and alone forever??? surrounded by cats?? watching reruns of buffy the vampire slayer, angel, veronica mars, CSI the original no scrap that, i'm not that interested in CSI anymore, wonder why, lost, justice league, kim possible, lizzie mcguire, akademi fantasia and other television shows??
i don't know why, diary, i really don't. is it too damn hard for the world to send me a guy who is really goodlooking, charming, articulate, rich, considerate, funny, really nice, doesn't have a big ego, and reads shakespeare? is it??? i don't think so, right? there are like, a kabillion people on earth. why couldn't the world send me a jonathan bennet look-alike who has all the qualities i am looking for in a man? this baffles me, world, and i need answers. why won't you jest git along??
tonight, dear diary, i am going to wish a wish. a special wish. a wish that will go, star light, star bright, first star i see tonight, i wish i may, i wish i might, send me an awesome man tonight. or tomorrow. or somewhen in the near future, that would be soo great, thanks. d'you think it will work, dear diary?
if i don't find someone this year diary, i'll die!!! i'll just wither away, and DIE!!! i hope i don't, though, dear diary. because i've got vacation plans and i think they're gonna be awesome.
good night, diary dear. my brain is tired from thinking about my state of single-ness. kisses and hugs!!!!!
yours truly,
neri bennet-echolls.