jan 12 - i am very hot
dear mom:
i'm sorry i didn't tell you about this sooner, but i am somewhere on an island(not sure where). the reason why i went up and left is because i joined the show survivor.
i got eliminated. i mean, i got voted out, so i didn't win. the picture of me you see here is me on the bus on the way to "loser's hotel" (not sure where).
oh, mom. it was awful. we got marooned off on this island with NO FOOD. and some people were really nasty. i tried being nice by telling people what they should do as i feel like i am the best person to consult on anything (i've read swiss family robinson like a million times, right, mom? and i am a HUGE HUGE fan of Lost) but then they made faces and called me bossy and stuffs. i tried making friends, mom, i really tried. one time i told this lady "that swimsuit makes you look fat" in the nicest way possible, because my intention was maybe she could go put on something else instead? so that she won't be embarassed when other people (like, a guy, for instance) told her that? but instead of thanking me she ignored me and got other people to alienate me as well. so when i tried to help making fire (WHICH I KNOW I CAN, MOM. JUST RUB TWO STICKS TOGETHER REALLY HARD, RIGHT?? I'M SORRY I'M SHOUTING BUT I'M REALLY SHOUTING AT THEM, MOM) they wouldn't let me, so we had to sleep without fire the first night. which: HAHA. so there.
the next day we had to do some sports-thing that if we win we don't heve to eliminate someone. because i was kind of angry at all of them for not wanting to listen to me (afterall, i do know best), i kind of slacked off. but, we had to run and because remember the night before i put on everything clothes that i brought (because it got cold and we had no fire)? i didn't take them off (cause i forgot) and i had to run and it was SO HOT and STUFFY so of course, i ran slow, right? anyway we lost and even though it's not really my fault they all refused to look at me in the eye so i think they were mad at me. when back at our beach i tried to strike up meaningful conversations such as "so who should go tonight??" but no body wants to talk to me so i was like, "fine. you know what? i'll vote ALL of YOU OUT."(except at tribal council i tried doing that, write everyon's name and someone came running up to me and said "you can't do that" and they made me write only ONE NAME or they won't let me win.)
the next thing i know I GOT VOTED OUT, like, whatever, it's not like it was fun there anyway. no food and no proper toilets. and peoples who hate you. yeah, have fun you guys. whatever. and on the confessional i said the coolest thing ever, mom: i said, actually i forgot what i said but i'm sure it was the coolest thing ever. i'll get to see it soon on television anyway so it doesn't really matter if i don't remember it now, mom.
it's just that on the way to tribal council, i forgot what show i was on, so i was thinking that it was maybe amazing race and i'll come last? and sometimes they have non-elimination legs? so maybe this was one of them so since i already have every single clothes i brought on me (i forgot to take them off again, LOL, that's how angry i was), it would be a good thing to still have them on me when i get on the mat, so even if they take away everything and i'll have to beg for money i'd still have plenty of clothes?
this is why i still have plenty of clothes on me on the bus on the way to the loser's hotel which i'm not even sure where.
so, mom, i'll see you in three month's time. they will still keep me here because that's how long the competition will be, and they can't have people coming back and telling people at home: i lost. i hope this letter will get to you first before me, because i can only post this after the trhee months is over; and if you didn't get it first, i think i'll be in very deep trouble as i am sure that you're very angry at me (for suddenly disappearing).
take care mom! lots of love, your daughter.
ps: if you've moved in these three months that i am away, please ensure that you've taken along my "My Little Ponies" collection.
pps: i've enclosed the picture so that you'll still remember what i look like the next time we meet (after three months)
ppps: yes, i am very hot (not hot as in 'i am a hottie', okay, mom, hot as in these layers of clothes i have on me is making me feel hot).
love,
your dawter.
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*picture used has nothing to do with the living or the dead.