dec 06 - hey beowulf
hey beowulf, let's just get this over with. you and i both know, that... i'm never going to finish reading you. it's not you, it's me. okay, no, actually, it's really just you. you're really... kind of... hard ... to read. i'd start reading you, and 5 pages later i'd have to stop because i have to perform some housework or some instructions given to me by the masterhouse, and then i'd go back to you and... i'd get lost on what happened earlier. i don't know whose son this is... who went where... what ate what... and then i'd have to start alllll overrrr againnnnnn and the same thing would happen, maybe 10 pages down. i've done this like ten times. so you can't say i didn't put any effort in it. so, you know, that's why. pleasedontsendgrendelafterme. i'm not sure why i'm so gung-ho about finishing you anyway. ok, yes, i know exactly why, it's because i want to impress people. and as you know as i have repeated this to everything within hearing range(in my room), at parties. but i don't go to no parties no more, except kids' birthday parties. where the kids most likely won't be impressed to hear about my highly intelligent theories about why grendel was so nasty, unless i tell it with a red ball on my nose. even then the parents would probably drag them away before i finish presenting all the facts, because y'all grendel eats people and it maybe especially likes little cheeeeldren. like... you. mwahahaha. but anyway i won't do that, because then my friends won't ever invite me into their house ever again, and that's bad. because i need social activities. also because i never did finish reading you remember? so, yeah. i won't do that.
wow. do you like digressions? i seem to be that i do! pleasedontsendgrendelafterme.
anyway, again, so, you must know that there is currently the movie beowulf out. you must be so excited! and angelina jolie is in it! that's exciting! are you excited? is grendel excited? or more like, egg-cited? wait, i don't even know what that means. also, don't tell it i made that joke. if it ever was a joke. just don't. so, how about if i just spend time watching the movie and we'll just call it even, is that okay? i mean, think about it: now more people would know about beowulf, not just unimportant ol' me, AND, i was not a part of that spreading the tale thing(at parties). score, right? yay! everyone wins!
only i won't be catching it in the cinema. maybe when it shows on astro. or how about if i just wikipedia? okay okay i'll wikipedia AND watch the movie! sheesh! do you want a silk-lined box to sleep in forever as well??
NOW PLEASE DON'T SEND GRENDEL AFTER ME.