july 03 - Daily Affirmations
we saw a korean movie the other day and it was the saddest ever. it was about a boy and a girl, and the girl wanted to break up for some reason. she told him to go home on the bus after that. before he boarded he asked, are you sure you want me to get on the bus? she didn't say a thing(i suspected she was blind because she doesn't meet his eyes haha). later that day it was in the news that bus number 48 went off a bridge and plunged into the waters, the fate of the bus driver and 40 passengers were unknown at that time. the boy had boarded the bus number 48. because it was a public bus there was no way to be certain for sure if he had been a victim.
she left notes at his house, messages on his phone. it wasn't confirmed that he was on the bus, but he didn't come home and didn't turn up to work. after 2 days she received a message from his phone. it was hoped that he was alive, somewhere - just didn't want to come home... until it turned out that there has been a phone network error - the messages she has been receiving were not sent by him - she has been receiving previous texts on a loop.
throughout all this she recalled flashbacks of how they met and their times together. he had been the sweetest boyfriend a girl could ever have. she sulked and teased him a lot and he always turned up with strawberry ice-cream which was her favorite.
after weeks, they finally found his body.
she finally figured out how to get into his house. the day she broke up with him he had planned a special date. his house was filled with deflated balloons and there was melted strawberry ice-cream cake on the table.
after they broke up, on the bus, he had called her. he left a voice message but she had deleted it. the network error brought up the voice message again. he only said her name.
she narrated that after she heard it she was free from her guilt, and she was glad he called her. but she could never eat strawberry ice-cream again.
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i like the idea of daily affirmations, like the ones blurbomat posts on his blog. i tried to do something like that one time - keeping track of things i'm grateful for on a daily basis - but fell off the wagon after the 3rd day. here are my everyday affirmations for now.
The future is exciting - taken from natalie hughes' blog. she has this in a frame on her desk. it has helped me a lot.
Be the heroine, not the victim - paraphrased from Nora Ephron's quote i discovered the day she died. Powerful.
There are worse things. - from disney's Hercules. the full quote was,
meagara: you could die(or be killed, or something)!
hercules: there are worse things than death.
here hercules has been betrayed by meagara. He was feeling death is better than the hurt he was having.
but it is true. whatever it is, there ARE worse things. of course nothing worse than death because... yeah, but. right now? There are worse things.