jan 29 - a learned thing
just got back from krabi. a holiday with new people. i let go of things and it was the most relaxed ever. didn't make any decision and just went with the flow and talked only when i wanted to. i was proud i didn't crowd masyoo at all. you did good, self.
came back and sisters was fighting and it made me sad and made me question why i cannot get what i want - a family that doesn't fight all the time.
then this was on instagram:
"there's an amazing thing about broken hearts. when you don't get what you want, you discover a need. when you discover a need, you begin to ask. when a request is unfulfilled, you keep asking. sometimes He doesn't give you what you ask for when He wants to give you something more. sometimes He doesn't give us right away because He knows there's something better. or so we keep on asking. because it is in the process of begging that we are elevated and brought nearer. it is in the process of asking that we are brought to the foot of His Throne. it is your need and helplessness that drove you to His Throne. He deprives to give."
been reading 101 hadith qudsi. it is good for the soul and reflections.