19th october- stew
Today we went shopping for m's jeans and i almost cried when i saw the sizes she was pulling-12! And she tried them on and i almost cried again looking at how loose the jeans were at the thigh area. I almost died trying to get into the 14s i brought into the dressing room.
We used to be comrades in size. Now i'm the biggest in the group.
Much much later i realised how awful it was for me to feel bad about myself when i should be realising how amazing it was that m is now 1 size smaller. I know this did not happen overnight, in fact it was a journey a few years in the making. She had worked so hard and had came so far- she should have this as a reward. It took pure grit and tremendous effort.
Me? I don't do anything, not nothing, none at all and expect my body to work miracles and fit into the size i imagine them to be. Pathetic, self. Really.
I'll let you stew over that.