23rd september - the world
important conversation.
https://cupofjo.com/2020/09/disability-friendship-essay/#more-235727
To be disabled and to care about a disabled person is to grasp all the ways in which the world was designed for non-disabled bodies. It’s why people stare, after all. Staring is a silent reminder of how the disabled community has been systematically discriminated against for generations: it’s an Othering spark that can either lead to an upsetting escalation or a diffusing hello. Even 30 years after the passing of the Americans With Disabilities Act, we are still mocked, forced, or killed out of public life. This occurs from childhood to adulthood, and affects our access to education, our ability to secure housing, our chances at gainful employment, and our right to “do no harm” healthcare. The ADA recognizes disability in the eyes of the law, not in those of society.
In that spirit, I asked four disabled women — Emily Ladau, Imani Barbarin, Alice Wong, and Alaina Leary — to describe what they would like non-disabled people to know about their experiences, and how to be better allies to the disabled community overall.
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“I’ve had so many encounters that were needlessly awkward because I use a wheelchair and people aren’t quite sure how to interact with me. Mobility equipment shouldn’t make anyone uncomfortable. It’s simply a means of getting around, and not a measure of a person’s worth or humanity. Engaging with anyone who uses mobility equipment comes down to the same thing you should practice when engaging with anyone, regardless of disability status: respect.” — Emily Ladau, writer, disability activist and communications consultant
“I would like non-disabled readers to look at their bookshelves or e-readers and scroll through their collections. How many books do you have by disabled, neurodivergent, Deaf, and chronically ill writers? Readers should champion #OwnVoices writers, a term first coined by writer Corrine Duyvis, which identifies books with diverse characters written by authors who share the same identities. For far too long, both fiction and non-fiction about disability has been written by non-disabled people. It’s time to add some disability diversity to your library and send a message to the publishing industry that there is a hunger for authentic disability representation by disabled writers.” — Alice Wong, editor of Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century
“The disability community is incredibly diverse, and one of the ways that manifests is in the accommodations we create for ourselves. As our bodies are different from one another, so is the accessibility we need. Accessibility is not a copy-and-paste endeavor, and routinely, the most accessible spaces have several options that all can choose from. You must include the disability community in all that you do, but the most important aspect to inclusion is this: You must listen to us. We are the experts of our own needs. In this vein, we often collaborate with other disabled people to find the tools and services that can help us all navigate the world in which we live. We need allies, not saviors, so disavow yourselves of the idea that you can sweep in and know what we need. Learn from us and promote our voices so that others can understand our needs as well.” — Imani Barbarin, writer, blogger and communications director
“I wish that non-disabled people made accessibility a priority all the time, not just when they believe someone will need it. I find it incredibly refreshing when any event, public or private, has access in mind. It means a lot to me when someone says, ‘I’m having a party this weekend. I made sure to host it in a space without stairs,’ or ‘I’m going to invite you to my wedding shower. Do you have any allergies or dietary restrictions?’ We need everything to be accessible: We need schools to be, we need parties to be, we need Pride parades to be, we need bars to be, we need parenting groups to be, we need virtual events to be. Being a good ally means advocating for accessibility everywhere you go.” — Alaina Leary, communications manager for We Need Diverse Books, professor and journalist
Like any strong friendship, truly understanding disability takes time. All disabled people have their own versions of the talk, and it’s up to their non-disabled friends to welcome, support and grow from them. Take things slowly, and add snacks when needed. But most importantly, enjoy the company of someone who is just as layered as you are. That’s how you join the disability advocacy club, where membership is always open.
crying because the world that Allah made is so much more bigger than the world i thought i was limited in.